Yesterday, I revealed by top 5 sexiest songs. While we’ve all agreed that my list is the best list, I’ve enjoyed your response. Let’s discuss a few.
Untitled (How Does it Feel)–D’Angelo
(Two people threw out this one. I’ll introduce to you each other if you’d like. Winky emoji.)
Yes, I agree with you. Even without the video I’d agree with you. But the fact that not long after we all spent hours replaying sweat dripping down his chisled chest towards his barely concealed penis (we all did that, right?) he was so uncomfortable with his status as a sex symbol that he fell into a depression and alcoholism knocks it out of my top five.
Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover–Sophie B. Hawkins
Also suggested by multiple people and also a sexy song, it just can’t be in the top five. The main reason? The theme of the song is wishing to be someone’s lover, not actually being it. One could argue that there is a sexiness in the longing and I wouldn’t disagree but the lack of confidence I perceive is ruins it for me. It’s not like, “Damn, I wish I was your lover but you’re trapped somewhere far, far away and all we can do is Skype,” it’s “I wish I was your lover but you won’t let me in and also you probably just don’t like me.” And then, one minute and 51 seconds into the song she says…wait for it… “shucks.”
Two Guys (for Every Girl)–Peaches
This is a song about a woman wanting to watch two men have sex. This is a song about a woman wanting to watch two men have sex THAT WAS RELEASED IN 2006. I applaud you for your talent, your sexiness, and your courage.
The Valley–Miguel
Super sexy song. The only problem is its title and refrain. “I wanna fuck like we’re filming in the valley”? Maybe it’s just the result of my profession but for me this translates to “I wanna fuck with a few people half-watching us while we contort our bodies not for the sake of camera angle instead of pleasure. I wanna take intermittent breaks to get off and get hard again while your aroursal slips slowly away.” To each his own, but that’s not my kink.
Plain Jane–A$AP Ferg
Little known fact: I regularly titillate (my word, not hers) my very good friend, Michelle with rap lyrics. A couple of years ago we shared this exchange:
Hey, M?
Yes, Al?
Pretend like your name is RiRi, okay?
Sure.
I think I trade my breakfast lunch and dinner for some kitty
Please believe me I see RiRi, I’mma eat it like panini.
In response to Glory Box (Portishead) and This is Hardcore (Pulp) I can only say YES.
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