Quarantine Day 52

Shit, did I promise more SWHS today? It’s not that it isn’t my absolute favorite topic but that I’m tiiiiiiiiired. I’ve been tiiiiiiiired all day. I’ve essentially just been dragging myself to tomorrow since I woke up. I Brought Sex Toys to the People, I colored a dog with a unicorn horn in the front yard in order to force my kids outside, and I watched 1.5 episodes of Killing Eve. I also decided to sue and/or request a refund from Lego because this ship in a bottle is bullshit. It would be way easier to do an actual ship in a bottle and I’m not doing an actual ship in a bottle because it would be too fucking hard.

(I just smiled lazily to myself and let out a soft chuckle at the easy, unintentional segue into Sex Without Having Sex “too fucking hard” is.) So, fine. I’ll gather my energy and explain my most recent revelation about SWHS.

I think I was on the wrong track when I thought it might be accomplished in dreams. I think that my dreams have been trying to tell me this by being unusually quiet and/or unrelated to potential SWHS. I’ve decided that instead, SWHS is a meditation based practice. This seems obvious now I will share in depth once I’ve gathered more information. Here’s a smaller subset (becomes unsure of what subset means, googles it, and ends up on weather.com) of Sex Without Having Sex: SWHSWPYKWDKY

Aka: Sex Without Having Sex With People You Know Who Don’t Know You

Just kidding. That’s a crazy title. And it also comes across sort of creepy. But hear me out. I feel more sexually connected to certain celebrities than some of the people I’ve actually had sex with. I’m not saying that we have some sort of preexisting sexual connection (except for you, Trent Reznor) but if unfamiliar sexual energies can bump into each other, as I believe they can, who’s to say I couldn’t “bump into” Allan Rayman’s penis?

(Praise.)

As discussed in Q3, Day 47 SWHS cannot exist without both parties’ awareness. In a celebrity situation one person enters the experience with way more awareness than the other. The solution comes down to odds. Let’s say, for the sake of scientific nonsense, I am 40% aware of Allan and he is 0% aware of me. We should have a 20% chance of SWHS, right?

Wrong! Because SWHS is energetically unpredictable! Therefore, I have no solid conclusions on this, or any topic tonight. I’m going to go eat some pizza and pass the fuck out.