Quarantine Day 75: 3/4 of the Way to a Dollar Edition

Aubrey lost his lost tooth. At bedtime I told him that because he hadn’t already written a note to put in its place, the Tooth Fairy would have to come tonight instead. This is because I was tired and feared passing out before he did and also because I’m a bad mom.*

Speaking of missing things, I did it. I ordered the tiny Lego piece I’m missing. It cost 12 cents but shipping was $5 so I added to my order to get free shipping. Now I’m convinced that the possibly evil geniuses at Lego purposefully leave one tiny piece out of ever high end box because they know the only people who buy this shit care about having each stupid little piece and will either spend $5.12 to get it or will order more Legos to justify the shipping. I ordered a Wonder Woman vs. The Cheetah set because those are Aubrey’s two favorite superheros/villians and a baby Velociraptor playpen because Aubrey frequently identifies as a baby Velociraptor. It was too perfect.

And then at checkout, the possibly evil geniuses at Lego told me I’d earned a free Lego Beach Buggy! I have no idea how! In addition, upon completion of my purchase they offered me 157 VIP points if I just sign up to receive emails and give them all of my personal information, which of course I did. So now I’m looking at a future as a weird cat lady with no cats but a shit ton of Legos and a maniacal dog that runs through them every time someone comes near the front door which may or may not be the actual cause of the missing Lego.

RVA mag posted a nice story about Taboo and the hard work my P.I.M.P. and I have been putting in. 

Remember how yesterday I almost got stung by a bee? Today I did get stung by a bee. I’d decided to get crazy and actually leave the house, planning to meditate in a cool, hidden trail down the street from our house. I chose a spot, sat down, and discovered a bee in my shoe. When there is a bee in your shoe, unlacing and removing a high top Chuck Taylor seems to take an hour. I said “fuck” a lot and then limped up one of the steepest hills in our neighborhood. I have a complicated relationship with bees and am receiving this as a sign that I need to wake up to my true self and be present. I ordered another Osho book.

Bee tattoo by Amanda Slater

*I’m not a bad mom. I’m a mom who feels like shit every time she does a “bad mom” thing. I don’t feel like shit about the tooth, though. I warned him to stop playing with it so he didn’t loose it.