A couple of days ago, I decided to go on a diet. The reason is two-fold: I’d like to drop five pounds and dieting sounds like a fun adventure. I’ve spent most of my adulthood in the “just eat healthy and exercise” camp. I’ve never done South Beach or Paleo or Atkin’s and I don’t know what a Whole30 is. I’ve never ever done or been tempted to do a “cleanse.”* Aside from that week I counted calories, I haven’t actually dieted in 20 years. It’s time to mix it up.
My “before” pic**
My first step was announcing my diet. The next was figuring out what my diet would be. I Googled for ideas but the sites that appealed to me were all about boring old exercising and eating right. That’s when it hit me. My diet is called Obsession.
When I decide I want to do something, I expel all of my energy in that direction. It’s probably not healthy but it’s worked out pretty well. Here are a few examples:
- Within 48 hours I’ve decided to buy a car, decided which kind of car, decided which specific car, bought it, and named it. Twice.
- Within two weeks of conceiving the loose idea of moving out of state I’d chosen a city and secured a realtor. Three months later I was under contract.
- When I became interested in owning a snake, I researched breeds until I found an easy to care for, beautiful California King who shares my zodiac sign.
- Chickens–same. One day I was remarking on how many eggs my family goes through and the next my now-husband was referring to my internet chicken activity as my porn. Our girls just arrived last week!
- Last but not least, I selected and ordered our engagement rings less than 24 after deciding to propose to my husband. Within two weeks of my proposal we had a date and a venue.
If you’re thinking that I’m simply rash, consider that it took me an unspeakable number of hours to settle on the perfect spice rack. Don’t get me started on the (very basic) bathroom mirror. I don’t just work swiftly, I work intensely. What better motivator than obsession?
Might Obsession be right for you? Here are a few free tips!
- Whenever you’re feeling a craving (or even when you aren’t) Google something like “what to eat” or “healthy recipes.” Maybe you’re more the “diet inspo” type or you yearn to “fit into that bikini.” Just figure out what works for you and let the internet do the rest!
- Don’t be afraid to click on ads. Ads know you better than your friends do.
- Tell everyone you know that you are dieting. After your first meal, you can officially say you’re (probably) losing weight and begin to act as an authority.
- Find recipes. Buy groceries. But first, rearrange your cabinets. Behind every healthy chef is an organized kitchen.
So far, Obsession is working well for me. Even though I spent most of yesterday sans pants and am wearing overalls today, I can tell that my waistline is shrinking. I’ve completed two days of a 30 day exercise challenge and my cheese intake is down 5%. I bought a blender and have bookmarked several smoothie sites. I watched a YouTube video on how to peel a frozen banana and subscribed to Wholefully. I even read the “free e-book” which everyone knows is really just an promotional pamphlet.
In the next post, we’ll focus on finding zen through productivity. Until then, get some rest, drink lots of (purified) water, eat an apple and day, and tell your friends about Obsession.
*If one of these works for you, keep on keeping on! Different plans work for different people. Cleanses are horrifying, though.
**Before pic taken five years before start of diet
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