Hey there, friends!

It’s been three days since I posted my dieting tips and tricks. If you followed my advice you’ve no doubt reached your desired weight and are healthier than you’ve ever been. Let’s move on to skin care!

For skin that looks and feels like a baby’s bottom,* I suggest the following routine:

Wash your face in the shower unless you’re not showering in which case wash it at the sink. If you plan on showering later in the day, you can wait until your shower. If you’re not showering that day at all and you just don’t feel like washing your face, you may also skip this step.

After you shower, it’s important to moisturize your entire body. I used to just moisturize my legs after shaving but that practice horrified Amir so now I lotion up everything. When I think about it. Which is 1/4 of the times I shower.

The one area you do not moisturize is your stomach. Instead, your stomach gets a thin application of  self-tanner such as St. Tropez Gradual Self Tanner. This step is especially important if you spend a lot more time in the sun than your tummy does and you look like a marshmallow with arms and legs in a bikini. After a couple of weeks your stomach will be a completely different hue than the rest of your body but it’ll sort of pass if you squint and you’ve saved yourself some sun damage!

Now, let’s start on that face!

As we age, simple moisturizer just isn’t enough. Find a product line that works for you. I love Mad Hippie. Here’s why.

  • It’s all natural, made with essential oils
  • Eco-friendly and cruelty free
  • Cute packaging
  • Victoria’s Secret models can’t go without it

I start with the Vitamim C Serum. It’s full of antioxidants than brighten, tighten and smooth the skin. Once my face feels nice and tight, I apply my Face Cream. Then, throughout the day, I blast myself in the face with their Hydrating Nutrient Mist, mostly because it smells good. I end each day that I remember to with Exfoliating Serum.

There’s one important step between moisturizing and make-up, if you’re wearing that, which you’re probably not since you rarely go anywhere anymore. This one I cannot stress enough: sunscreen. For your face you’re going to want something 50spf or higher. I alternate between Neutrogena Clear Face and Aveeno Protect + Hydrate.** But don’t stop there! If you’ve ever experienced burnt eyelids (and who among us hasn’t) you know the importance of Supergoop Bright-Eyed Eye Cream. It has an spf of 40 and also minerals and stuff.

Next, you’re going to want to use your Eyelash Volumizer. I chose Super Lash by System Jo because I love their lubricants and I got it for wholesale. They recommend you use it daily but I’ve found that once every couple of months is enough to instill a sense of satisfaction while making absolutely no difference.

Additional products that you should use intermittently as you remember:

  • This foot cream. Seriously, it’s unreal.
  • Teeth Whitener. I use a little pen by Crest. You paint it on, smile awkwardly for 60 seconds, and refrain from eating and drinking for 30 minutes. Suggested use is twice a day. I alternate between every day and not at all.
  • Night time eye cream. My choice? One of the half dozen Clinique sample tubs that my mom has given me over the years.
  • Lip balm. Herbacin Kamille or, if you want that that extra tingle, Burt’s Bees Rescue Balm.

* Mine does not.

**I use these at least once daily and I’m still bright red but I spend most of my time outside in Southern California so take that for what it is.

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