Is this bag yours? Can I sit here? I’m going to smoke a cigarette but don’t worry, I’ll smoke it over there. Can you believe if I smoked right here? That would be so rude! (Smokes half a cigarette a few feet away, finishes it next to me on the bench.) Are you writing? Is that a diary? Do people still do that? I thought people only typed now! That’s wild! What are you writing? Are you writing about the hot white guy that just sat down next to you? What is that are you writing in code? Is that cursive? Are you writing a book or something? Who’s your favorite author? Who was that one guy? He wrote Catcher in the Rye. Yeah, J.D. Salinger, that’s him. He was from [some city he was not from.] And he only wrote that one book! Can you believe he got that famous and he only wrote one book?! What was that kid’s name in the book? Yeah, Holden Caufield. Didn’t he like go prematurely grey or something? That’s me, look! I started going grey in high school! What’s the name of that guy who shot John Lennon? He liked J.D. Salinger, right? Yeah, I think he was like holding Catcher in the Rye when he shot John Lennon. It was the guy who shot Regan, though, who was obsessed with Jodie Foster. I called out of work today. I was like hey sorry, can’t come in, I’ve got Covid. Just kidding! Where are you from? You’re hot. I mean, I can’t tell if you’re hot because you’re wearing a mask and sunglasses. But yeah, you are hot, though.
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