A few years ago I brought you the sexiest songs ever as determined by me and later I let you have the floor. These songs might not the sexiest but they are the best, on account of I said so.
  1. Your Love, The Outfield
    Not only did the Outfield fail to have another hit, they didn’t even write another decent song. I know this to be true because I tried SO MANY TIMES to like EVEN ONE. Even the video is lackluster. It’s like a dark set design situation that multiple band members enter wearing sunglasses. The “older woman” is an artist who seems to be nearing the ripe old age of 17. I’ll buy it, because the singer looks 12.* But y’all, “JOSIE’S ON A VACATION FAR AWAY!”
  2. Never Tear Us Apart, INXS
    This song takes the number two spot for many reasons, not the least of which is that it’s my song with my dog, Quan.  Quan, bless his heart, becomes terrified every time he hears the intro because he knows I’m about  to pick him up and insist that he perform his saxophone solo.
  3. Unbelievable, EMF
    OH! WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!
  4. Wasted Time / Monkey Business (tie), Skid Row
    I can sing them both euqally well. In Wasted Time, I’m sad. In Monkey Business I’m angry. I’m a well rounded artist who can capture both. (Takes a bow)
  5. Nice & Slow, Usher**
    What was Usher doing at 7:00?
  6.  Every single song by Heart
    What about love? Don’t you want someone to care about you?
    also,
    I always got by until I met you.
    but
    All I Wanna do is Make Love to you, Baracuda
  7. Babelogue, Patti Smith
    I wake up. I am lying peacefully. I am lying peacefully with my knees open to the sun. I desire him. He is absolutely ready to seize me.
  8. Alison’s Starting to Happen, The Lemonheads
    He even spelled my name right!
  9. What I am, Edie Brickell
    Raise your hand if you agree:
    1. Philosophy is talk on a cereal box
    2. Religon is a smile on a dog
    3. Philosophy is a walk on slippery rocks
    4. Religion is a lie in the fog
  10. Friday Night, Dennis Wilson
    I will love you forever, my sweet prince.

* RIP Outfield lead singer, Tony Lewis, whose death in 2020 at age 62 actually makes him 28 at the time of the video.

**Also on the sexy list.

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